31 January 2006

When a Horse Breaks a Leg, You Shoot It

So when my car's transmission goes kapoot, can I push it in front of a train and collect the insurance money?


So Meg's driving back from the libray today after harvesting a trove of mystery thrillers, cruising along State Line Avenue, and suddenly it's there. The noise. And vibration. And sickening loss of vehicular momentum. Whatever nuerons that are suppose to fire between the gas pedal and the speedometer just went dead, and so did the car. Oh, the engine whined along just fine, but someone the get-up-and-go got up and went.

So Meg makes it home, limping, and I come out to investigate. The shift slips easily into drive. But no forward motion. Reverse. But no backward motion. You get the idea. And that sound! Imagine a blender full of marbles on high speed. And every few seconds, the car lurches forward in a pathetic attempt to move. Sort of like a squirrel whose hind leg has been hit by a speeding car. Sad, sad, sad.

So there she sits in the driveway. Tomorrow, we take her in. We'll either patch her up, and put her out to pasture, whichever is cheaper.

29 January 2006

Tales from the Sewer

Be warned. The following tale is true, as are the photos. It contained graphic materials which may offend your sensibilities. Unless you're a plumber, and get excited about things like this:

It all started with a backed up commode. Two, to be precise. I tried snaking the pipes to no avail. That poop chute was just plain stopped up. So I started digging....  Posted by Picasa

When all else fails, saw the sucker in two.
 Posted by Picasa

 Posted by Picasa

28 January 2006

Yep, that's raw sewage, folks.
 Posted by Picasa

So after bailing out umpteen buckets of poopwater, I discover the problem: blockage 6 feet deeper underground. Time to get the big guns! Posted by Picasa

Ok, so maybe I went a little overboard. Was this all just an excuse to play with grown-up Tonka trucks? Maybe. But there's no way in heck I'm digging eight feet down into Texas hardpan with a woodhandled garden spade. So this little beast took care of it. Well worth the money. Problem is, we can't afford to eat until March.....  Posted by Picasa

Halfway down, we discover part of the problem - a compressed elbow joint had slipped and allowed roots in. Not a good thing. Roots love poop. We removed these, but there was more blockage. And deeper we went into the muck. Posted by Picasa

My hero, John Murphy. I love the man....I just won't shake his hand for several days.
 Posted by Picasa

So here's the question: what the heck is a 18" wad of roots doing in my sewer? (Beside the obvious answer of feeding off human waste.) This sucker weighed at least six pounds. At first I thought it was a possum. No kidding. Posted by Picasa

See the resemblance to a possum? Or am I thinking of a raccoon? At any rate, it's almost bigger than Emma. Stinks worse, too.

And so there you have it! Roots in the poop chute - what an adventure!
 Posted by Picasa

The Plate Incident

Yes, I broke the plate. I admit it. I feel terrible. We were at our friends Chris and Laura's house in Kentucky, staying at their home while they were in Florida. They have a nice collection of china that was handpainted and given as a wedding gift. Tons of stuff. Plates, cups, saucers...you get the idea. And wouldn't you know it - Brad has to knock one on the floor, and it shatters in not less that 3 trillion pieces.

The funniest part? Meghann takes it upon herself to piece the whole thing together with scotch tape, and as you can see in the picture, she came pretty darn close to doing it!

What a way to spend New Year's Eve.

01 January 2006

A Clumsy Mishap

Chris and Laura, please don't be mad.

Back in God's Country

After we left Parkersburg, we headed straight for God's country: central Kentucky. This is where Meg and I met and courted, and God willing, will one day live again. Some dear friends live here. We've known Isaiah and Rebecca for years. Isaiah and I met in theatre - in one particular college production, we played two psychotic conspiracy theorists with Nazi leanings. Here's to you, Mr. Jones .....

The Moving Crew

Jerry and Jim helped load five years' accumulation of worldly goods into our 26' Penske, a feat that will forever amaze me. Jerry and Jim, like so many at my church, are the salt of the earth. Giving without measure; giving and giving and giving again. It's people like this that make leaving so difficult. God bless you guys. Thank you , and so many others, for being the body of Christ to us. We love you and will miss greatly.

Moving Day