27 December 2009

Merry Christmas to all, and to all - enjoy your life - it's a Chair of Bowlies!

Last year Emma came home saying; "You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit".  Thank you Ms. Sarah!  She used that mostly on us - but it was a good learning moment for Mommy and Emmi!  So, this year we had an opportunity to re-visit this lesson.

A month ago, my (Meg's) parents were coming to visit, I had my Christmas cards ordered, printed, and ready to mail out.  We were prepping for our church Christmas production, and winding up the first semester of Emma’s first grade year.  I wouldn’t describe our normal life as smooth, but it was going fairly well.

Then the set of storms hit…. Weeks of rain (so, no lights ended up on our house – when it was sunny, Brad was busy!!!).  Ginger (Meg’s Mom) starts having strange physical problems.  Meg has several weeks of massive migraines.  Josie gets sick.  The Church program was wonderful.  Our School and Church has a massive setback with the illness (nearly a last illness) for our dear Principal Ray.  Brad steps in the last week of school to help.  Emma finished with flying colors.   We finally get some Christmas presents bought (but nothing is stilllll mailed out!!!).  Meg’s parents have to make a call on travel - they decided to wait to do anymore traveling until there are some answers as to her physical issues.  Please be in prayer with us as Ginger is seeing a gastroenterologist as a starting point to seek answers.  So we decided to travel instead!  ALL this to say – we are in Jackson (five hour drive - last minuite!!) for a very short and unexpected visit with his family.  Now, Meg is sick.  Loverly!  BUT hey, we are with family, and a warm fire.  I am getting to have coffee brought to me by my dear hubby….

SO, this is why Christmas cards didn’t go out yet.

I will get them out soon.  This year or next…  ;)

So, this was the last month.  What did the rest 2009 bring to the Easleys?  JOY!!!

  • Last winter we had the great opportunity to be with Meg’s brother (Miles) when he proposed to his beautiful girlfriend Melissa.  (mileswittboyer.com) She said yes, and we began the excitement of another girl in the family!
  • Emma was learning to read and work on cursive (already!!!) in kindergarten.  Can you believe they learn these things so early now?  I remember learning to write in cursive in 3rd grade!! 
  • In March, our dear friend Thomas came for a visit. We had just been at his wedding in December or 2008 and were excited to have him visit for two days.  While he was with us we received a call OUT OF THE BLUE about a soon-to-be-born baby that needed a home!  Would we be interested?!?!  YES! 
  • We jumped in Thomas’ truck (he offered to drive us, our car was getting new tires the next day – so we couldn’t drive it) and we headed off!  We made it in time to be present for the birth and Meg ended spending about a month out of town; until we were able to get everything settled to bring our new Josanna Lynn home! 
  • Emma has been beyond excited to become a new big sister.  She helps out with everything except changing diapers.  She prefers to throw them away for us.  (Strange, I think I would rather change it!!)
  • This summer we were able to help teach at Indian Springs Camp Meeting.  For the last several years we have been able to travel to Georgia and help teach children at this wonderful family camp!  We hope the girls get to grow up loving these three weeks as much as we do! 
  • The fall brought in Emma’s first day of first grade.  WOW!  It wasn’t so hard, being that we have had so many years of pre-k and kindergarten, but it was still an adjustment for her to be gone so much and have homework!  Now she does more cursive than we do and she can read to us at night…  Not that we let her all the time!  She loves to read to Josie as they play together.  Such sweet moments to listen in on!
  • Right after Emma started school we traveled to Arkansas to attend Miles and Melissa’s wedding.  Now there is a new Mr. and Mrs. Boyer in the family!  It was a beautiful and special time.  We really enjoy the area that they live in, just wish we could all live closer!

There were a few sad moments this year too, a number of sweet goodbyes to loved ones.  A number of friends and family went on to be with Jesus.  Then there were the sad goodbyes to the beloved family pets.  Meg’s puppies from home (when she was growing up) finally got older than their bodies could handle.  Time marches on, not much we can do, other than to keep our eyes and hearts on the Father and have faith that there is more to this world!  A life we cannot see!!!

PLEASE READ!!!  Many of you haven’t received an updated Christmas card in several years.  We apologize for that.  Time, as it is marching on, is often rater brutal and a bit fast.  We were caught in another move and moments that left Meg unprepared to formally communicate as she would like.  We are now pastoring a church in Lake Charles, La.  You can check out our church website for more information! www.lakewoodbiblefellowship.org  I apologize for not having sent out cards or (as I later realized) even a change of address to many of our dear friends and family.   I hope to be better at communicating with you, and we dearly treasure each of the cards and emails we receive from you.   Thank you for keeping us in touch with you even as we have not been as faithful as need be!

We would love to hear more from each of you (especially if we had somehow missed out on your family Christmas card or letter because of a lack of address….)

As our family has grown through the adoption of little Josanna Lynn (Josie), we know that the Lord rejoices just as much for the adoption of each heart into the kingdom of God!  As we work hard to move toward increasing those adoptions (of both kinds) we pray that the Lord would continue to teach you about his love and desires for your life!

All our Love,
Brad, Meg, Emma and Josanna




Merry Christmas to all, and to all - enjoy your life - it's a Chair of Bowlies!

Last year Emma came home saying; "You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit".  Thank you Ms. Sarah!  She used that mostly on us - but it was a good learning moment for Mommy and Emmi!  So, this year we had an opportunity to re-visit this lesson.

A month ago, my (Meg's) parents were coming to visit, I had my Christmas cards ordered, printed, and ready to mail out.  We were prepping for our church Christmas production, and winding up the first semester of Emma’s first grade year.  I wouldn’t describe our normal life as smooth, but it was going fairly well.

Then the set of storms hit…. Weeks of rain (so, no lights ended up on our house – when it was sunny, Brad was busy!!!).  Ginger (Meg’s Mom) starts having strange physical problems.  Meg has several weeks of massive migraines.  Josie gets sick.  The Church program was wonderful.  Our School and Church has a massive setback with the illness (nearly a last illness) for our dear Principal Ray.  Brad steps in the last week of school to help.  Emma finished with flying colors.   We finally get some Christmas presents bought (but nothing is stilllll mailed out!!!).  Meg’s parents have to make a call on travel - they decided to wait to do anymore traveling until there are some answers as to her physical issues.  Please be in prayer with us as Ginger is seeing a gastroenterologist as a starting point to seek answers.  So we decided to travel instead!  ALL this to say – we are in Jackson (five hour drive - last minuite!!) for a very short and unexpected visit with his family.  Now, Meg is sick.  Loverly!  BUT hey, we are with family, and a warm fire.  I am getting to have coffee brought to me by my dear hubby….

SO, this is why Christmas cards didn’t go out yet.

I will get them out soon.  This year or next…  ;)

So, this was the last month.  What did the rest 2009 bring to the Easleys?  JOY!!!

  • Last winter we had the great opportunity to be with Meg’s brother (Miles) when he proposed to his beautiful girlfriend Melissa.  (mileswittboyer.com) She said yes, and we began the excitement of another girl in the family!
  • Emma was learning to read and work on cursive (already!!!) in kindergarten.  Can you believe they learn these things so early now?  I remember learning to write in cursive in 3rd grade!! 
  • In March, our dear friend Thomas came for a visit. We had just been at his wedding in December or 2008 and were excited to have him visit for two days.  While he was with us we received a call OUT OF THE BLUE about a soon-to-be-born baby that needed a home!  Would we be interested?!?!  YES! 
  • We jumped in Thomas’ truck (he offered to drive us, our car was getting new tires the next day – so we couldn’t drive it) and we headed off!  We made it in time to be present for the birth and Meg ended spending about a month out of town; until we were able to get everything settled to bring our new Josanna Lynn home! 
  • Emma has been beyond excited to become a new big sister.  She helps out with everything except changing diapers.  She prefers to throw them away for us.  (Strange, I think I would rather change it!!)
  • This summer we were able to help teach at Indian Springs Camp Meeting.  For the last several years we have been able to travel to Georgia and help teach children at this wonderful family camp!  We hope the girls get to grow up loving these three weeks as much as we do! 
  • The fall brought in Emma’s first day of first grade.  WOW!  It wasn’t so hard, being that we have had so many years of pre-k and kindergarten, but it was still an adjustment for her to be gone so much and have homework!  Now she does more cursive than we do and she can read to us at night…  Not that we let her all the time!  She loves to read to Josie as they play together.  Such sweet moments to listen in on!
  • Right after Emma started school we traveled to Arkansas to attend Miles and Melissa’s wedding.  Now there is a new Mr. and Mrs. Boyer in the family!  It was a beautiful and special time.  We really enjoy the area that they live in, just wish we could all live closer!

There were a few sad moments this year too, a number of sweet goodbyes to loved ones.  A number of friends and family went on to be with Jesus.  Then there were the sad goodbyes to the beloved family pets.  Meg’s puppies from home (when she was growing up) finally got older than their bodies could handle.  Time marches on, not much we can do, other than to keep our eyes and hearts on the Father and have faith that there is more to this world!  A life we cannot see!!!

PLEASE READ!!!  Many of you haven’t received an updated Christmas card in several years.  We apologize for that.  Time, as it is marching on, is often rater brutal and a bit fast.  We were caught in another move and moments that left Meg unprepared to formally communicate as she would like.  We are now pastoring a church in Lake Charles, La.  You can check out our church website for more information! www.lakewoodbiblefellowship.org  I apologize for not having sent out cards or (as I later realized) even a change of address to many of our dear friends and family.   I hope to be better at communicating with you, and we dearly treasure each of the cards and emails we receive from you.   Thank you for keeping us in touch with you even as we have not been as faithful as need be!

We would love to hear more from each of you (especially if we had somehow missed out on your family Christmas card or letter because of a lack of address….)

As our family has grown through the adoption of little Josanna Lynn (Josie), we know that the Lord rejoices just as much for the adoption of each heart into the kingdom of God!  As we work hard to move toward increasing those adoptions (of both kinds) we pray that the Lord would continue to teach you about his love and desires for your life!

All our Love,
Brad, Meg, Emma and Josanna




Merry Cherry Christmas!

Last Year Emma came home saying; "You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit".  Thank you Ms. Sarah!  She used that mostly on us - but it was a good learning moment for Mommy and Emmi!  So, this year I had an opportunity to re-visit this leasson.

A month ago, my (Meg's) parents were coming to visit, I had my Christmas cards ordered, printed, and ready to mail out.  We were prepping on our

Merry Cherry Christmas!

Last Year Emma came home saying; "You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit".  Thank you Ms. Sarah!  She used that mostly on us - but it was a good learning moment for Mommy and Emmi!  So, this year I had an opportunity to re-visit this leasson.

A month ago, my (Meg's) parents were coming to visit, I had my Christmas cards ordered, printed, and ready to mail out.  We were prepping on our

Merry Christmas, glutteny, and fooball..

Merry Christmas, glutteny, and fooball..

14 December 2009

My thoughts, my thanks...

Dear friends, Dear all, Dear world.

Infertility is not fair.  It hurts - it's black.  It's flat black dull cheap spray paint that covers you - but it's not you.  People have written, more than I had known who were affected by the darkness and the lies of infertility.  Statistics tell us we are not alone.  Apparent reality screams otherwise.  So we, alone, hide - thinking we know that the stats are lies, that we are really alone.  Isolated by our fears, pain, and unfair disadvantage everyone else seems to have overcome.  We have to answer questions no one else does. 

Yes, we know what causes children. 
Yes, he has been tested.
No, he is just fine.
Yes, I have been tested, poked, prodded...
Yes, I have heard of that too.

Thank you for your concern.  
And actually, thank you for asking, because so many don't.

Dear friends, I was surprised to see the pain in your hearts too.  The ability to connect and to understand each other.  It's profound.  We didn't ask for this.  We didn't do anything to choose it.  

Thank you for your writings and your encouragement.  I find healing in your words.  Our honesty can and does help.  Thank you for listening to mine.  Now, go bake some holiday cookies - but don't forget to still keep up the exercise! All in balance! 

My thoughts, my thanks...

Dear friends, Dear all, Dear world.

Infertility is not fair.  It hurts - it's black.  It's flat black dull cheap spray paint that covers you - but it's not you.  People have written, more than I had known who were affected by the darkness and the lies of infertility.  Statistics tell us we are not alone.  Apparent reality screams otherwise.  So we, alone, hide - thinking we know that the stats are lies, that we are really alone.  Isolated by our fears, pain, and unfair disadvantage everyone else seems to have overcome.  We have to answer questions no one else does. 

Yes, we know what causes children. 
Yes, he has been tested.
No, he is just fine.
Yes, I have been tested, poked, prodded...
Yes, I have heard of that too.

Thank you for your concern.  
And actually, thank you for asking, because so many don't.

Dear friends, I was surprised to see the pain in your hearts too.  The ability to connect and to understand each other.  It's profound.  We didn't ask for this.  We didn't do anything to choose it.  

Thank you for your writings and your encouragement.  I find healing in your words.  Our honesty can and does help.  Thank you for listening to mine.  Now, go bake some holiday cookies - but don't forget to still keep up the exercise! All in balance! 

Self and disclosure. Not the same. (Bizcochito recipe enclosed!)

Tonight I watched Julie and Julia with Brad.  Minus a few moments of pausing *drinks, popcorn, oil pulling* I was mesmerized.  It left me feeling better about myself as a woman, a wife, a cook, and more in love with my husband than before.  Brad loves to cook.  He is a momma's boy - Dianne - you created a great one here! He loves his Momma, he loves his wife, and he loves to cook.  But he doesn't do all the cooking, doesn't want to do all the planning, he wants to create wonders - such as his latest - the perfect carrot cake.  It was divine - I continue to wear it evenly on both sides...

But he doesn't do the whole regularly scheduled program thing so well.  Neither have I.  Until last year at some point when I felt - led - ohh ok, condemned really... But led to better myself and my family by meal planning.  And, for the most part, I have drastically improved in this arena.

I still enjoy the nights he gets inspired.  And who knows what will stem out of this evening.  I have a feeling we will be learning to debone a duck soon.  But  if it's with B, than all will be well and tasty too!  So thank you Dianne for passing on your love of cooking to your boy.  My boy too now, a treasure for sshissle!

Ok, enough sap...  heh heh!

I am prepping for an open house this next weekend.  Began with my dear sister Leslie's perfect recipe for cream cheese cut out cookies.  Emma and I started (while we lived in WV) to have a yearly time for decorating our CCCC (Cream Cheese Cutout Cookies).  She now expects it! So I have prepped much dough and it will be ready for her when she comes home from school tomorrow.

I believe I will prep some more Bizcochito dough also!  I am not sure what else we will have yet.  In the past I think I did a bit too much.  How about better quality, less quantity?  Perhaps one or two more types of cookies and then the salt.  Hmmm homemade salsa?

Well, it's late.  I need my sleep - Josie waits for no one!

The following is the promised recipe. It is taken from a prized out of print little book that my Grandmother gave my Mother on the occasion of her engagement to her son, and my mother gave to me as I was leaving NM for college.  Little did I know that this would keep me going far after those cold Kentucky days!  It is my source for chili (true chili) and more... Thank you Mum!




Bizcochitos (Cookies)
1 c. sugar
2 c. lard (not for meg – I use butter! I think margarine would work too)
1 t. anise seed (I crush it some first)
2 eggs
6 c. sifted flour
3 t. baking powder
1 t. salt
1.4 c. water
Cream lard (or…) thoroughly; add sugar and anise seed.  Mix until fluffy!  Beat eggs and add to lard mixture.  Blend until light and fluffy.  Sift flour with baking powder and salt and add to first mixture.  Add water and knead until well mixed.  Roll ½ inch thick and cut into fancy shapes.  Roll top of each cookie in a mixture of sugar and cinnamon.  (1 t. cinnamon to ½ c. sugar.) Bake in a moderate oven…. (HAHA had to leave that in there, that is actually what my book says.  I have figured out that here 375 works well, for until they look a bit raised and (like a good biscuit)  but not really brown.  









Self and disclosure. Not the same. (Bizcochito recipe enclosed!)

Tonight I watched Julie and Julia with Brad.  Minus a few moments of pausing *drinks, popcorn, oil pulling* I was mesmerized.  It left me feeling better about myself as a woman, a wife, a cook, and more in love with my husband than before.  Brad loves to cook.  He is a momma's boy - Dianne - you created a great one here! He loves his Momma, he loves his wife, and he loves to cook.  But he doesn't do all the cooking, doesn't want to do all the planning, he wants to create wonders - such as his latest - the perfect carrot cake.  It was divine - I continue to wear it evenly on both sides...

But he doesn't do the whole regularly scheduled program thing so well.  Neither have I.  Until last year at some point when I felt - led - ohh ok, condemned really... But led to better myself and my family by meal planning.  And, for the most part, I have drastically improved in this arena.

I still enjoy the nights he gets inspired.  And who knows what will stem out of this evening.  I have a feeling we will be learning to debone a duck soon.  But  if it's with B, than all will be well and tasty too!  So thank you Dianne for passing on your love of cooking to your boy.  My boy too now, a treasure for sshissle!

Ok, enough sap...  heh heh!

I am prepping for an open house this next weekend.  Began with my dear sister Leslie's perfect recipe for cream cheese cut out cookies.  Emma and I started (while we lived in WV) to have a yearly time for decorating our CCCC (Cream Cheese Cutout Cookies).  She now expects it! So I have prepped much dough and it will be ready for her when she comes home from school tomorrow.

I believe I will prep some more Bizcochito dough also!  I am not sure what else we will have yet.  In the past I think I did a bit too much.  How about better quality, less quantity?  Perhaps one or two more types of cookies and then the salt.  Hmmm homemade salsa?

Well, it's late.  I need my sleep - Josie waits for no one!

The following is the promised recipe. It is taken from a prized out of print little book that my Grandmother gave my Mother on the occasion of her engagement to her son, and my mother gave to me as I was leaving NM for college.  Little did I know that this would keep me going far after those cold Kentucky days!  It is my source for chili (true chili) and more... Thank you Mum!




Bizcochitos (Cookies)
1 c. sugar
2 c. lard (not for meg – I use butter! I think margarine would work too)
1 t. anise seed (I crush it some first)
2 eggs
6 c. sifted flour
3 t. baking powder
1 t. salt
1.4 c. water
Cream lard (or…) thoroughly; add sugar and anise seed.  Mix until fluffy!  Beat eggs and add to lard mixture.  Blend until light and fluffy.  Sift flour with baking powder and salt and add to first mixture.  Add water and knead until well mixed.  Roll ½ inch thick and cut into fancy shapes.  Roll top of each cookie in a mixture of sugar and cinnamon.  (1 t. cinnamon to ½ c. sugar.) Bake in a moderate oven…. (HAHA had to leave that in there, that is actually what my book says.  I have figured out that here 375 works well, for until they look a bit raised and (like a good biscuit)  but not really brown.  









08 December 2009

If'n I....it's my story, I'm sticking to it!


"Oh little star of Volvo" 
Found this on the puter - {Papa J and Emma loved our car too...}

If'n I needed encouragement, I came to the right place! I have to say, after my last cry fest I thought perhaps this blogging thing needs to be curtailed! Perhaps I should self therapy somewhere else! BUT NO!  I couldn't believe the next morning and my dear sweetest of the sweetest friends had actually not only ready my sniff fest BUT chosen to pray and encourage me too! THANK YOU Jesus for sweet friends! EVEN if we are separated by hundreds if not thousands of miles!  WHAT did Paul do without the internet?  Wow....

WELL then - I want to start my moment of therapy with an acknowledgement.  THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE - I will REJOICE and be GLAD in it!!! Thank you Jesus for today!

Now - on to today’s, predicament and preponderances’....

Infertility.

A dirty little secret word that friends don't ask friends about.

People think but don't mention.

And, if you happen to share (outside a self help group of ladies who are bare and empty of tummy) than often you are given the ohhhh and hmmm and gooolllly that's hard.

And, hey, that's ok.  Because what are they supposed to say?  They don’t know what to say either!

BUT so often that leads the barest of ladies to just stop mentioning anything.  THEN the real treat starts -

INFERTILITY TREATMENTS...

Talk about a dirty word!  I hear, second, third, and fourth hand, that pregnancy hormones are hard.  That you grouch, cry, and scream for no apparent reason.   Well, there is an apparent reason - you are growing a new little, itty bitty, baby!!!

Ok, now imagine giving all those great hormones to your hubby.  How would he react?  All the hormones, but none of the "fruit" of the pain.

That's infertility treatments.  You dare to hope this emotional rollercoaster (caused by copious amounts of craze inducing hormones) will bring fourth - LIFE.  But often it doesn't, statistically it probably won't.  BUT you poor thousands of $$$$ into it.

Ok, got that off my back.  I have done this, thousands paid to ask Dr's to help make me crazy.  Well, one time in TX I thought it had worked (crazy, not prego!).  I was snappy, I cried, I was MAD at the pills, shots, creams, and ointments.  So I told the dr.

OOPS.

She said, hey, this affects everyone like this, let's put you on this drug (should have taken notice there!!!) for a "while" and then when this works (yeah, worked like a charm) we will just take you off (left of the part about withdrawal from lands beyond the living...) THUS entered Meg (who foolishly listened and didn't research this dear drug) into the world of EFFEXOR.

Shiver me timbers......

Yep, I felt better.  I wasn't snappy... I am sure people at the church thought that an invader had taken over Meg for the previous several months.  Remember not talking about INFERTILITY?  Well, then, no one knows WHY you are a venomous snake - and if you say, it's the hormones, then well - people say, control yourself.... I would, but it’s the HORMONES they are SHOOTING into me!!!!! Sigh.... Well, all the effects went away, seemed like a GREAT thing.

Then we found out we had to move...

Dr. says; stay on it, when you find new dr. to help do your treatments they will get you off after you get Prego.

That was over two years ago.

One adoption ago.

And a million headaches ago.

Still of EFFEXOR....

Remember me mentioning the withdrawal from beyond?  Well - it's bad....

OK.  Now we are caught up - and tada! I am 3/4 of the way off!  Well, let's say, today was my first day on the 3/4 off; I was 1/2 off yesterday.

Nasty nasty stuff....

After tears and withdrawal illnesses I found a great friend in the local pharmacist. With the help of a NATURAL (always a fan of nature!!!) supplement.  I am actually getting off this mind altering concoction.  BUTTTTTT that has left me with a desire to never never listen to Dr’s without researching again!  I have had to slowwwwly get off this drug - a quarter percent at a time, and with each drop down I have four or five days of headaches, illness, dizziness, tears - name it and I could probably claim it!

And that's with this amazing supplement.

I had tried to "titrate” off of it without the supplement.  Got two days through and had to go to bed.  IT was THAT bad.  Couldn't cope - couldn't parent, cook, eat, or even walk!  These strange brain flashes (very real, actual side affects!!!) that would be like an electrical punch through the head) were so horrendous that I was left in bed for the day.

Poor Brad Baby.

BUT with the supplement (its called 5-HTP) I have been able to get off!!!! PRAISE GOD!

I feel great.  BUT today is one of my drop off days.  I feel very strongly that I need to drop off this stuff - all together.  I recently found out that this Effexor is a class C drug - meaning you CAN NOT take it if you are Prego AT ALL!  Well then, dear dr., WHY DID YOU PUT ME ON IT?!?! SO so so...sigh.../

ALL THIS TO SAY (getting tired of my caps?!!!)

I am so excited to be this far in three weeks!  A bit worried as to how I will feel by this evening.  I usually do ok until the evening of the second day with the decreased dose.  SO again, if you get to this part of my story - please pray for Brad, Emma, and Josie - and for me, as we venture to get mom/maggie off of a drug that she didn't need in the first place!

IF you happen to be on an SSRI or getting off of one, I would recommend the 5-HTP like CRAZY! It is the only thing that has allowed me to venture getting off of this med.  It makes me wonder how many people feel stuck on it!

OH - my lemon tree looks ripe! I bet the grapefruit are too!!!

Thank you for letting me tell my story.  To admit to infertility - the joys of adoption and God's hand in my life!  I recently found out that I had an underlying thyroid issue, and couldn't have gotten Prego with all those treatments anyway.  (how did they miss that one?!!)  BUT I know,  I kNOW, that Jesus needed us to take our Emmi and our Josie and love them for him!  Speaking of which, the second munchkin is yelling!

Got to go.  kisses and hugs to all - even Miles if he is reading!
me

If'n I....it's my story, I'm sticking to it!


"Oh little star of Volvo" 
Found this on the puter - {Papa J and Emma loved our car too...}

If'n I needed encouragement, I came to the right place! I have to say, after my last cry fest I thought perhaps this blogging thing needs to be curtailed! Perhaps I should self therapy somewhere else! BUT NO!  I couldn't believe the next morning and my dear sweetest of the sweetest friends had actually not only ready my sniff fest BUT chosen to pray and encourage me too! THANK YOU Jesus for sweet friends! EVEN if we are separated by hundreds if not thousands of miles!  WHAT did Paul do without the internet?  Wow....

WELL then - I want to start my moment of therapy with an acknowledgement.  THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE - I will REJOICE and be GLAD in it!!! Thank you Jesus for today!

Now - on to today’s, predicament and preponderances’....

Infertility.

A dirty little secret word that friends don't ask friends about.

People think but don't mention.

And, if you happen to share (outside a self help group of ladies who are bare and empty of tummy) than often you are given the ohhhh and hmmm and gooolllly that's hard.

And, hey, that's ok.  Because what are they supposed to say?  They don’t know what to say either!

BUT so often that leads the barest of ladies to just stop mentioning anything.  THEN the real treat starts -

INFERTILITY TREATMENTS...

Talk about a dirty word!  I hear, second, third, and fourth hand, that pregnancy hormones are hard.  That you grouch, cry, and scream for no apparent reason.   Well, there is an apparent reason - you are growing a new little, itty bitty, baby!!!

Ok, now imagine giving all those great hormones to your hubby.  How would he react?  All the hormones, but none of the "fruit" of the pain.

That's infertility treatments.  You dare to hope this emotional rollercoaster (caused by copious amounts of craze inducing hormones) will bring fourth - LIFE.  But often it doesn't, statistically it probably won't.  BUT you poor thousands of $$$$ into it.

Ok, got that off my back.  I have done this, thousands paid to ask Dr's to help make me crazy.  Well, one time in TX I thought it had worked (crazy, not prego!).  I was snappy, I cried, I was MAD at the pills, shots, creams, and ointments.  So I told the dr.

OOPS.

She said, hey, this affects everyone like this, let's put you on this drug (should have taken notice there!!!) for a "while" and then when this works (yeah, worked like a charm) we will just take you off (left of the part about withdrawal from lands beyond the living...) THUS entered Meg (who foolishly listened and didn't research this dear drug) into the world of EFFEXOR.

Shiver me timbers......

Yep, I felt better.  I wasn't snappy... I am sure people at the church thought that an invader had taken over Meg for the previous several months.  Remember not talking about INFERTILITY?  Well, then, no one knows WHY you are a venomous snake - and if you say, it's the hormones, then well - people say, control yourself.... I would, but it’s the HORMONES they are SHOOTING into me!!!!! Sigh.... Well, all the effects went away, seemed like a GREAT thing.

Then we found out we had to move...

Dr. says; stay on it, when you find new dr. to help do your treatments they will get you off after you get Prego.

That was over two years ago.

One adoption ago.

And a million headaches ago.

Still of EFFEXOR....

Remember me mentioning the withdrawal from beyond?  Well - it's bad....

OK.  Now we are caught up - and tada! I am 3/4 of the way off!  Well, let's say, today was my first day on the 3/4 off; I was 1/2 off yesterday.

Nasty nasty stuff....

After tears and withdrawal illnesses I found a great friend in the local pharmacist. With the help of a NATURAL (always a fan of nature!!!) supplement.  I am actually getting off this mind altering concoction.  BUTTTTTT that has left me with a desire to never never listen to Dr’s without researching again!  I have had to slowwwwly get off this drug - a quarter percent at a time, and with each drop down I have four or five days of headaches, illness, dizziness, tears - name it and I could probably claim it!

And that's with this amazing supplement.

I had tried to "titrate” off of it without the supplement.  Got two days through and had to go to bed.  IT was THAT bad.  Couldn't cope - couldn't parent, cook, eat, or even walk!  These strange brain flashes (very real, actual side affects!!!) that would be like an electrical punch through the head) were so horrendous that I was left in bed for the day.

Poor Brad Baby.

BUT with the supplement (its called 5-HTP) I have been able to get off!!!! PRAISE GOD!

I feel great.  BUT today is one of my drop off days.  I feel very strongly that I need to drop off this stuff - all together.  I recently found out that this Effexor is a class C drug - meaning you CAN NOT take it if you are Prego AT ALL!  Well then, dear dr., WHY DID YOU PUT ME ON IT?!?! SO so so...sigh.../

ALL THIS TO SAY (getting tired of my caps?!!!)

I am so excited to be this far in three weeks!  A bit worried as to how I will feel by this evening.  I usually do ok until the evening of the second day with the decreased dose.  SO again, if you get to this part of my story - please pray for Brad, Emma, and Josie - and for me, as we venture to get mom/maggie off of a drug that she didn't need in the first place!

IF you happen to be on an SSRI or getting off of one, I would recommend the 5-HTP like CRAZY! It is the only thing that has allowed me to venture getting off of this med.  It makes me wonder how many people feel stuck on it!

OH - my lemon tree looks ripe! I bet the grapefruit are too!!!

Thank you for letting me tell my story.  To admit to infertility - the joys of adoption and God's hand in my life!  I recently found out that I had an underlying thyroid issue, and couldn't have gotten Prego with all those treatments anyway.  (how did they miss that one?!!)  BUT I know,  I kNOW, that Jesus needed us to take our Emmi and our Josie and love them for him!  Speaking of which, the second munchkin is yelling!

Got to go.  kisses and hugs to all - even Miles if he is reading!
me

05 December 2009

Please Wait!

Which moment do I write about?

The moment of oh no, or oh no - or how about oh no.  Oh no B went to bed and the plants in the planters are still outside - never mind that it weighs in as a small elephant - but I managed to drag it inside.  I lost all all alllll my plants several years ago during an unfortunate winter move cross country.  Turns out when you park a moving van in a winter storm over night - it doesn't matter how toasty you are inside.  The plants still mush and disintegrate.  Completely.  Every last one... Now that I only have, say five, I'm a bit protective.

OR do I self therapy as to the thought crud.  Christmas is in three weeks.  We just had my birthday, we just had Thanksgiving.  I'm not ready for this.  I am ready for family, for fun, for my dear daughter’s faces as they see the awesomeness I helped others create - but what have I done yet?  Nothing.  I seem to always be running in other directions.  I am at a loss for this... in more ways than one right now.

This just puts me out.  I love the Christmas spirit, until it has to do with the feeling that we must always be giving more.  More more more.  Buying more, saving more, rushing more....

I feel like I am just complaining.  But I am behind - and this isn't helping.

I am thankful for my family.  For two beautiful girls that love, obey, and enjoy even my singing.  Jo actually smiled at me as I sang today - that's big - it usually evokes less than enthusiastic responses.  Perhaps I am getting better or they are getting tone deaf.

I am thankful for my parents.  You always give above and beyond.  My daughter’s lives are full of your generosity - you often give what is in my heart to, and I haven't event told you.  Thank you.

I am thankful for a family of Easley's that we just spent a wonderful week with.  It left me closer to Christmas, but more settled and secure in a family that loves to love, shop, and eat.  We love Jesus and we love each other.  Thank you Jesus for the Boyer's and the Easley's!

I am even thankful for change.  I have friends who are missing their siblings - not because they live far off, but because they are gone to them.... perhaps death, perhaps other ways.  It breaks my heart.  This Christmas is a change.  Miles and Mellissa are starting their own family.  New traditions, new celebrations.  Miles learned that early, I left too early.  I have always hurt over his loss so young.  I always hated not having siblings and so I suppose felt so guilty when I graduated and left Miles at home.  I don't know why I had such a hard time letting that guilt go.  It still stings.

So he learned to let go, it's harder to be left than to leave.  This year he left.  He married a beautiful young lady, whom we rejoice with and love.  But it's a change.  A hard change... my little brother won't be here for Christmas.  And it hurts.  In a good way.  I'm happy for him, I hurt for my parents, for me, for the years to come that we get used to this.  That time marches and I am hapless to stop it.  That graves are snowed on tonight, bodies’ cold, bones left, and I hurt.  I hurt because of the humanness God created.  A humanness that seeks community and family.  That seeks to fulfill a hole empty by sin and by design.  Made larger by sin it burns to be filled.  Some nights it overflows.

But then, when, sometime, I hear the voice of God calling.  HE is ever present.  He is here... They, those dry bones, are not the loved ones, they are with HIM and rejoicing beside HIM.  I am the one who doesn't see the full picture.   This life, it’s a shadow.  My loneliness - its part by design... part by sin - fully filled by a savior.  God must enter this area, the guilt, the shame, the fear.  Jesus, please help me celebrate Christmas in a new year - in a new way - to take joy for each precious year we have together - not fear in the loss, fear in the fear of loss.  BUT in JOY in the NOW - in a baby’s first Christmas.  There is only one.  She will grow; laugh, change - and one day marry too.  Perhaps this is why my heart burns.  Mom, I never knew what you meant.  What you said - what Nini saw in you - now I wish I could share with you both.  To sit, drink coffee, and hold hands.  I miss you - both.

I'm afraid of this Christmas, because it is a first - and that can only happen once.  Tonight that seems overwhelming.  But, like college finals, the next day will come.  I can't stop time.  I don't want to.  I want to see their dreams come true.  I just don't know how to let go.

It's cold.  B's asleep and I should be.  Tomorrow plans must be made - too much to do in 24 hours.  I am tempted to give up the stuff easily moved, until I realize that's our family time and daughters.  So I can't - I must keep those solid, just because they seem to not mind being scooted right now, there is only one first.  There are photos to take.

If you read this, if you make it to the end.  If I have someone who happens to bother reading this long self indulgent cry - let's pray for each other.  Change can be hard, I never handle it well the first time.  In first grade I refused to change desks midyear - I liked where I sat.  I knew my way around, where everyone around we was.  But the teacher didn't let me stay, and neither does God.  I see it now.  I struggle now.  I am seeking now.  For me, for my family, for future generations.  For little girls that will grow up to leave me - to travel overseas and teach others from their bible books about God's love.

This tale doesn't end tonight.  Tomorrow comes.

01 December 2009

tadpoles, butterflies, yeast and dreams of Tuscani....

Jo just dropped her bottle again - that makes three times.  I don't pick up anything more than twice - (wait - kitchen timer just went off, I'll be right back!)  wow... honestly, it's fourty min later - really right back huh?

I used to be an avid journalier.  I have boxes of them from the time I could write.  My first (that I remember) was a hello kitty journal that locked! It locked and only I had the key - so very very cool.  I got it for being brave when a mole was removed off the end of my nose.  Yep, had it not been for that journal, I would have a witch mole (probably a hair too!) coming out of the tip of this button beauty!  ;)

All this to say, after we had our kitchen fire in 2001 (long story - God heals!) My right hand was damaged - and after a year or so of the compression gloves and therapy I had a working hand.  BUT my writing was a different story.  It ended.  I couldn't hold a pencil for more than a few seconds - that lasted years.  Even now I just can't write and flow like I once did.  SO I suppose I found a new idea - blogging! I began blogging somwhere around 2003 or so.  That was the first easleypark.blogspot.com - it has been locked down and is no longer in service.   I decided too much of Emma's adoption information was available for the world to see - so I opened this current page.  AND THEN I FOUND MYSPACE.... life goes on... facebook arives (mywhat?)... I am sucked into the facebook world.  BUT something is missing.  Something is just not right... oh! I am not journaling.

See, I guess I don't care who all reads this, I don't write it for others.  Let's call this Meg's personal therapy.  SO why (in the past couple years) have I just quite processing through word?  I don't know.  What I do know is right now I need it.  I need to talk - but not out loud.  My brain needs to process....

Feel free to process with me.

Feel free to call me nuts...

BUT if His eye is on the sparow - that my words, my thoughts, my heart means so much to HIM - I need to process in order to be a better mom, wife, friend...

ALL THIS TO SAY - IF my ramblings bug you, please don't feel forced to read - ignore me.  I will process anyway.

SO onto today's processing - oh wait, I already did! Wow... that feels great.  Thanks!
me

26 November 2009

short on charge, not on words...

Darn it.  I am lazy and yep, I admit it.  I have much to say, but only fifteen min. of charge time to say it!  I could go find the cord, plug it in, have all the time in the world - but that would require getting out of bed, disturbing B and that just won't do.  For one, he is my heat source - and secondly the peaceful cadence of his breath would be disturbed.  He is a light sleeper - much more so than me.....

Oh, thirteen min. to go... no wait, make that twelve... grrr...

Have I told you that I love being married to a real man?  What makes a real man?  He carries a pocket knife.  Always ready to save his princeses, or to make a new tool out of that peice of tree.... OR to carve our names in a tree.  We did that to one of ours the other day, that way, we always know!  My B, a real man.

I just used it to cut my melatonin pill in half.  See what I mean?  A man always has the right tools to help - even if he is sleeping.  I love seeing the watch, scrunched dollar, single piece of hard candy, and the knife... Trying to convince myself not to steal that candy - it's a w. original...

I thought this had a spell check - I can't find it, and I was typing for emotion not correctness - so please forgive my lack.

I have lot's to write of, to tell you about medicians that Dr.'s say will help, then find out they don't - then find out you can't get insurance because of those same ones... I want to share, but now I only have five min. more - I don't think that's enough time.

Leave it to this, clomid was hard, clomid, shots, tears, they were harder - Dr. felt Effexor would make it all better..(while we added creams to the shots and clomid pills).. now what?  Three years later I find out the truth.  That's ok,  I have Josie, I have Emma, and I have B.  That's what I need..

But insurance would be nice too. 

Three min. left, don't think I want to run out too far, the screen just goes black.  Like in college, when my blue 1986 Cavalier would run out of gas.  The needle didn't work too well, and this says two min.  So good night, will write soon.  Must get warm and kiss that ear.  

Meg

10 October 2009

In the light...

I'm sitting for a moment in the dining room. The sound of the dishwasher is a blissful noise at the moment - last night we lost our water - today it was restored. For that I am beyond thankful. Jojo is asleep, I can hear her music softly in the background. Brad took Emmi out for a bit to run to Wal-mart - I escaped that tragedy!

BUT as I am sitting here I noticed something, and HAD to just write about it. The light coming in through the sun-room windows is hitting the leaves of a wreath I made. As it glows through I am instantly brought back to some of the most blissful memories of m childhood. Even in College light had a way of calming and soothing me. Not just the hard bright summer light. I don't care for that at all. But the dabbled glow of early fall, when the breezes start swaying the treas and the light flickers.

The light is golden. That I believe, is my favorite thing about home, about Taos, about Kentucky. And, about this moment in my sun-room. I realized when I saw it that it caught me unaware. I haven't seen the light in so long. It's like a long lost friend, when you see them again, you are so surprised. They have changed but you instantly remember all about them. That's what the light is.

I remember laying on the floor as a child, in the square panes of light and dark as the window was etched into the carpet. I remember sitting and writing through countless journals in the library, or outside of in , in Lexington. How about those days as a small girl, laying on the couch looking out the door to the back porch as the light flickered. Listening to the sound of Mom vacuuming as I looked at my never ending pile of library books.

We have lived in Louisiana for almost two years now. But I don't remember ever seeing the light here before. I am glad it has caught up to me. I miss it so! I think that there must be a certain dryness in the air for it to happen, a bit of crisp autumn edge that allows the light to sparkle as it comes through the leaves. Nearly always a breeze is involved. I don't want to analyze it too deeply, because there is some magic to it, I think I want to leave it that way.

A light of memories, and of moments caught unaware. My dream? To someday have a home that regularly has light visit it. Not just the overhead light of bright bulbs, but this graceful magic. The bedroom that is awash in calm dreams and the sun-room waiting for a book or project to begin. Well, for now I am happy just to say hello old friend. Welcome to my home.

Please feel free to stay a while. May I just sit and be with you?

07 October 2009

20 September 2009

Challenged by surrounding... OR Confessions of a craft junky

Ok, I admit it - I am a craft junky. Problem is, they are mostly in my head. I love to look at ideas, at colors, papers, textures, and photos. Then I dream of way's to put them together - Colors and textures - even pictures of textures are like candy to me. Wondering what I am talking about? Well, this new layout - it just makes me salivate like some might look at a piece of cherry pie! Texture, color - well, the digital world has taken all this to a new level the last several years. Gone are the piles of papers and boxes of different scissors. Now with a mac and photoshop we can all have a creative output level that rivals any design artist. Sigh...

Well, as much as I love this one, I have to admit I didn't make it. Found it online, "borrowed" it, and probably will enjoy using their work for a while! (www.hotbliggityblog.com) I have found myself enjoying a number of artists work lately. This takes up some of my evening time - but I feel as though I should share at least one of these.

www.LollyChops.com


sigh. sigh. sigh....


Lolly is rather amazing - and not just in her creativity - but her style of writing keeps me coming back for more! Along with that, she has a list of creative links that rivals nun I have found so far! I love looking at the links she has shared in her side bar. They are GREAT idea maker...

SO family and friends, don't be surprised to receive homemade gifts this year - for lolly and maggie are creative thinkers - if only I can get out of my cyber world and back home....

love to all! and to all a good night!

Me (Meg, Meghann, Maggie, Meggie.... so be it.)

30 May 2009

Let Freedom Ring!

What's so great about America? So many things - but one of them is good old fashioned freedom. Freedom to push your product, service, or thought and ring from the hiltops! Well I am looking for a way to gain from this freedom too! Brad and I LOVE free stuff. Ever heard him preach on a Sunday? He loves to get free stuff. Our tv, ipod, and phones have been free - so let's try for something more! Will you please help me get some free help for Josie?

Well, if you finished listening to his sermons you would realize that nothing is ever really free, and neither is this. For me to win some GREAT things for Josie, I have to work and try to get as many people to follow me on Twitter through the month of June. Now, the people through the contest (slingandswaddlejourney.com) chose me and 29 other moms to twitter about our lives, our frustrations, and our joy - and our chance to use some product by these manufactures. (See? Nothings really free) BUT if I can get the most followers than I might win some GREAT stuff - and we need it! I want a rocking chair pretty bad - and this might be my ticket! So, will you follow me? Who knows, this might make it into a sermon - or not....

Follow me here!

or here!

23 January 2009

25 Random things about ME

Well, are you on face book? Most likely if you are reading this, you are. Well, have you gotten a "25 random things about ..." yet? Well, I have gotten several. Supposedly if you get one you are supposed to make one and then send it back out to 25 people, including the one that sent it to you! Well, on face book you can only send to 20 people at one time. I thought, YOUR KIDDING ME... I am going to go to all this work and only send it to 20 people? No way. I figured if I am going to share my 25 random things, than I might as well send it out to the world. To read. To judge. Especially to judge... We all judge, so go ahead. Read on, and let's see what your random things are!



25 Random things about ME


1. I love my initials, ME…. (Meghann Easley). It was one of the favorite things about getting married to an Easley. I always did sign cards and letters “me” - then it just became legitimate!
2. I collect e’s. Leslie, my sister, often gives me awesome ones. It’s dangerous to let people know you collect something. I should know, I used to collect tea’s and tea pots. But then people found out, and I ran out of space!
3. I love mysteries. Especially Agatha Christi’s Hercule Poirot. I love them so much that I get ready in the mornings to book’s on cd. I listen as I drive. I carry around a cd player – if I am into a really good one. It’s sad, I know…. But I like TALK much better than most music. So, I listen to books on tape a whole lot…
4. When not listening to books on tape, I love to listen to NPR. (National Public Radio) You just have to have a mental filter because they are REALLY liberal. But I still love them. Louisiana has one of the WORST stations EVER. I know, I’ve moved around a whole lot! It makes me miss “Car Talk”.
5. I am impatient. I think most friends are probably shocked that I am a mom. I am REALLY impatient. I hate lines – especially to check out somewhere. Poor Brad. I always leave him in them. I just CAN”T stand just hanging there….
6. I always said I would never work in radio. Then I did, now I don’t. Now I can’t believe that I actually miss it! I really loved what I did – I just didn’t know that I did!
7. I hate most candy and don’t crave sweets. BUT then there is really good dark chocolate and I make up for it. I really just don’t like a whole lot of sweet stuff….
8. Shocking to most people would be that I would drink tea just as much as I would a cup of coffee. SO that let’s you know how much I really drink during the day. It’s a whole lot. BUT anymore it’s unsweet ice tea. From McDonalds. Here in Lake Charles it’s the best I have found. Sweet tea messes with my blood sugar and I am sure I would start gaining weight!
9. I hate putting on makeup and doing hair. But hey, what girl wants’ to primp every day? I would rather just go ride a horse.
10. I used to teach horseback riding. Sigh….
11. I love camping and fishing more than Brad. Old school is my favorite. Tent, ground, dirt. Lots of dirt….
12. I love to ski – not for the speed but because it is AMAZING to stand and look out across what God has created! I liked being really good so that you could go onto parts of the mountain that has LESS people.
13. My dad is an archaeologist. I grew up a science nerd and would love to be a forensic anthropologist. I love dead things. Blood doesn’t bother me (as long as it’s not fresh on my daughter!)
14. I have a phobia about crickets. They jump – they are unpredictable – and they have an exoskeleton – that looks a bit like a roach. I had never seen a roach until I moved to Mississippi. IT was a BAD day… suddenly I had two phobia’s.
15. I love to play tennis… but not in the hot hot sun.
16. I had a soccer scholarship in college, but never played on the team. They let me keep the scholarship though! (Had hand burn before I could play!)
17. I am shy. It takes a whole lot of work to be outgoing and talk to people! Thanks to those of you who talked to me first!
18. I dream of getting an MFA. Master of Fine Arts… or going back to medical school! I used to want to be a medical illustrator – not anymore!
19. My middle name is Nolan. It’s my mom’s maiden name. I always wanted that to be my first name.
20. I hate heat. I love snow. I like cold. I love mountains. BUT God is bigger than my innate sense of what I like. SO I love air-conditioning. We didn’t have that growing up, my parents still don’t. You don’t need it at home!
21. I want to visit Greece. I will stand up on the hillside and look out at the white washed homes above the blue water. I will!
22. ANYTHING repetitive bugs me. Songs that repeat. Ticking of clocks. Buzzing of lights. Music on electronic toy. Did I mention music on electronic toys? ESPECIALLY Emma’s singing Barbie. She loves to push the button again, again, and again! But I really try not to complain. Really…
23. I want a ton of kids. I would love a house full! Well, that’s what I say right now!
24. I don’t like to own things. I had a panic attack when we bought our washing machine. I would really like to own very little and live on the mission field! I believe that one day we will live overseas for a while!
25. I’m addicted to chewing gum. I think I have a hand’s and mouth addiction. So I try to chew gum or drink something without calories. I seem to neeeeed something to chew on or sip!
26. PHEW! This was harder than one would think! I am GLAD it’s over!

01 January 2009

Click to play Chris and Laura Visit