29 January 2010

A glimmer of light...


Meet my new best friend (also known as BFF). Who says you can't buy friends? B bought him for me yesterday. We instantly had a strong bond that quickly grew. His back and arms are strong enough to support while his gentle side keeps this in balance and his weight provides the traction our relationship needs! I am in love...

I slept until TEN this morning... Only getting up once for meds - that's a first in several weeks! YEAH! See? My new friend already paid for himself! B got up and took E to school, fed and played with J and got her down for a nap. I woke up as he was coming back to bed. He is there now - I took my BFF and went to the couch. Now I can get comfy anywhere. HAHAaaaa chest - you can't get the best of me!

Ok, so you might be thinking M has flipped. Sure - 5 weeks of illness is enough to make anyone flip. BUT at the same time she has learned many important things.

  1. Listen to your mom
  2. Listen to your dad
  3. Listen to your Mum-in-law
  4. Listen to your sis-in-law
  5. Listen to your mum
  6. Reappearance of an illness really does happen
  7. "Walking pneumonia" is real
  8. It will lower your resistance to other things - so now, a flu bug on top of other stuff is very real....
  9. i am not longer 20.
  10. This is all very sad - they were right.... I was wrong.
  11. God created Dr's. - let them help you.
  12. I will never do this again.
These thoughts led me to these newer thoughts -
  1. I have a mum, dad, and mum-in-law, and sis-in-law who were way smarter than I.
  2. I am thankful they haven't rubbed this in my very sick little face.
  3. I hope anyone reading my pathetic updates lately takes me with a BIG grain (or jar) of salt. I like to write - I like to express - I am not nearly as self indulgent (usually) as in the last number of posts...
There was a Gary Larson (The Far Side?) cartoon the I used to love. It was a cow (he loves cows) upside down in a field. Legs up in the air. The caption read "No, Really, I'm Fine". It made me laugh like crazy. I spent forever this morning on google looking for it to share with you. It isn't out there - or it was hiding from me. Regardless, it was too funny. My parents gave it to me on a mug in high school. I think part of it was that I hate being sick. I hate being hurt. SO I tend to live in denial and push forward until kicked flat. Much like the cow.

What does all this have to do with anything?

When I woke at ten this morning, I coughed (a usual 24/7 thing right now - leading to my BFF) and tada - it sounded better!!! Then I got up and tada - I feel a teeeeny weeeennie bit better!

(Shouts of excitement overcome with awe as confetti and balloons spill from the sky...)

So, my first thought was - oh goodie - I can finish the laundry today.

(Now glares of irritation and slow shaking of heads..)

NO. I WILL NOT. I WILL NOT.

I will force myself to lay here.

I hate laying.

BUT I WILL LAY HERE.....

and write.... if that keeps me laying.

and I will get well!

Because - I am no longer a Gary Larson cartoon!

Thanks Mom, Dad, Dee, and Leslie for being right in love - next time, I am setting up the dr's appt. right away!

HAHA! So, hopefully soon I will be terrorizing people in person. But today I will lay here and listen to the rain, my body gently being held by my BFF. (Which, by the way, where do you "store" one of these things when you no longer need it?) (Perhaps that's a question for another day....)

28 January 2010

Another one bit the dust, or reacurence of illness, brings a chill to ME home...

Another one bit the dust. B came home, shivering without control. Even teeth. Had him do what I had to do yesterday - go sit under hot shower. It was the ONLY way to stop my shivering yesterday - so today I had B do it. WHY if you have a fever and are HOT is your body so very cold? After about ten min or so suddenly the body changes and it calms down. Very strange. Also brought him copious amounts of acetaminophen and ibuprofen.

So, now we discover that we are at opposite ends of the fever trail. When I am cold, he seems hot, and so on. Rather irritating I can tell you. It would be so much better if he would adjust his thermostat to mine.

Years ago, my dear friends had a marvelous idea. We should all live together in a compound. This perhaps was influenced by some cinematography of great excitement - but never the less, we have always found the idea hideous with anyone other then them. (well, nearly - some present family and friends excluded...)

But tonight, as I lay here - hoping for my next codeine induced burst of energy and pazaz (so that i might relax enough to sleep - and not tear anymore back muscles through my interpretation of a 1. walrus in the midst of fighting for his lady love or 2. the last few moments of an emphysemics life. ) I find myself in dire desire of having followed through with their idea.

It occurs to me -
  1. I have two children
  2. One is of school age
  3. One is still in diapers (which left untended smell worse than death)
  4. Both are in need of food and care.
Well.

In ministry you give up certain inalienable rights. Much like the Pilgrims crossing the ocean. Family may or may not live near. Tonight, I consider having family or my imagined commune around to be a rather dear idea.

Especially tonight

Which leads me onto my (excuse me, I just hacked up a lung - b sat straight up in bed and asked me how often I can take the cough med - the one I just took 20 min ago and can only have every 6 hours. This may be a long night or a long post....)

Especially Tonight.

God's grace is enough - isn't that good? Because of this - if we did indeed have a fever that presented itself at the same time than b would most likely be awake right now Not sleeping beside me only tossing when I try to share my walrus interpretation!

So, in the midst of illness - rest is happening and healing to our bodies. Perhaps slower or less obvious than I would care for. But already tonight B needed less medication than I had shared with myself at the same time yesterday.

Oh - and did I tell you, that God provides all things? Yesterday I was gifted the kindest gift I could ever had imagined (given the illness' desire to limit my dreaming past my current pain) = someone canceled their dr.'s appt! I called once, busy - called again - and tada - a time open.

Now, I didn't know this till later - but that is the way it works sometimes isn't it? God makes a way, opens doors - smooths roads less traveled. And, after, we look back and his hand was working every moment of every day. Why must I be ill now? I am not sure that's in God's will or plan - pain, illness, disease - part of SINS ravishing of the beauty called Man. God's creation - marred by pain.

So, as I sit here - well, lay, I can feel Codeine working it's magic and the spell checker is going nuts. But I also sit here in Awww of a God who works all things, knows all things, and loves all things. Even me - when sick, am taken care of.

Well, the alarm is set for six - and I need to plan on shuffling through to make the coffee, feed the children, and hopefully find that two days of horse shaped pills (hiding under the disguise of an antibiotic) will have begun the miraculous job they were created for.

May I too continue the miraculous job I was created for. To parent, love, guide, and walk beside my husband. WHO may just feel worse in the morning, but that's OK - I can bring him some ibuprofen.

Another one bit the dust, or reacurence of illness, brings a chill to ME home...

Another one bit the dust. B came home, shivering without control. Even teeth. Had him do what I had to do yesterday - go sit under hot shower. It was the ONLY way to stop my shivering yesterday - so today I had B do it. WHY if you have a fever and are HOT is your body so very cold? After about ten min or so suddenly the body changes and it calms down. Very strange. Also brought him copious amounts of acetaminophen and ibuprofen.

So, now we discover that we are at opposite ends of the fever trail. When I am cold, he seems hot, and so on. Rather irritating I can tell you. It would be so much better if he would adjust his thermostat to mine.

Years ago, my dear friends had a marvelous idea. We should all live together in a compound. This perhaps was influenced by some cinematography of great excitement - but never the less, we have always found the idea hideous with anyone other then them. (well, nearly - some present family and friends excluded...)

But tonight, as I lay here - hoping for my next codeine induced burst of energy and pazaz (so that i might relax enough to sleep - and not tear anymore back muscles through my interpretation of a 1. walrus in the midst of fighting for his lady love or 2. the last few moments of an emphysemics life. ) I find myself in dire desire of having followed through with their idea.

It occurs to me -
  1. I have two children
  2. One is of school age
  3. One is still in diapers (which left untended smell worse than death)
  4. Both are in need of food and care.
Well.

In ministry you give up certain inalienable rights. Much like the Pilgrims crossing the ocean. Family may or may not live near. Tonight, I consider having family or my imagined commune around to be a rather dear idea.

Especially tonight

Which leads me onto my (excuse me, I just hacked up a lung - b sat straight up in bed and asked me how often I can take the cough med - the one I just took 20 min ago and can only have every 6 hours. This may be a long night or a long post....)

Especially Tonight.

God's grace is enough - isn't that good? Because of this - if we did indeed have a fever that presented itself at the same time than b would most likely be awake right now Not sleeping beside me only tossing when I try to share my walrus interpretation!

So, in the midst of illness - rest is happening and healing to our bodies. Perhaps slower or less obvious than I would care for. But already tonight B needed less medication than I had shared with myself at the same time yesterday.

Oh - and did I tell you, that God provides all things? Yesterday I was gifted the kindest gift I could ever had imagined (given the illness' desire to limit my dreaming past my current pain) = someone canceled their dr.'s appt! I called once, busy - called again - and tada - a time open.

Now, I didn't know this till later - but that is the way it works sometimes isn't it? God makes a way, opens doors - smooths roads less traveled. And, after, we look back and his hand was working every moment of every day. Why must I be ill now? I am not sure that's in God's will or plan - pain, illness, disease - part of SINS ravishing of the beauty called Man. God's creation - marred by pain.

So, as I sit here - well, lay, I can feel Codeine working it's magic and the spell checker is going nuts. But I also sit here in Awww of a God who works all things, knows all things, and loves all things. Even me - when sick, am taken care of.

Well, the alarm is set for six - and I need to plan on shuffling through to make the coffee, feed the children, and hopefully find that two days of horse shaped pills (hiding under the disguise of an antibiotic) will have begun the miraculous job they were created for.

May I too continue the miraculous job I was created for. To parent, love, guide, and walk beside my husband. WHO may just feel worse in the morning, but that's OK - I can bring him some ibuprofen.