14 March 2011


Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please

We've longed to see the roses
But never felt the thorns
And bought our pretty crowns
But never paid the price

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare
Even though you're gone and I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river, I'm waiting here

Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please

We didn't count on suffering
We didn't count on pain
But if the blessing's in the valley
Then in the river I will wait

The last number of weeks we have been at several different churches.  As a pastoral family we enjoy visiting and seeing how others "do" church.  New ideas, new excitement, new friends - it's all new and usually very interesting.  Every week has been a touch from God on my (Meg's) life.  As I have encountered people, pastors, and worship moments I have heard God calling my name.  Calling me to lean forward - to reach out - and to not allow human emotion overcome my knowledge of HIM!  

I'm not going to tell stories - to lie.  

I've been struggling.  I never have done well with change (not initiated by me?!).  I like routine - as long as I set it.  And who am I kidding - I love leading - following has taken years to even begin learning.  Submission and Obedience were taught from infant-hood, and honestly, I fought them most of my years.  But God didn't give up. (OR my parents!)  He has taught me to lean into him - to submit to him, to my Husband, to my calling.

But it still isn't always easy.

I am excited to be where I am.  But I morn what could have been.  The calling I feel and felt.  The pain and sorrow  of lives, friendships, and memories left behind.  Most of all, I fight an internal battle.

One that speaks of a desire for life to be fair - which my father always reminded me was never promised.  Of a world that my daughters grow up with friends and love and security offered by more than their parents.  

Regardless,  life was never promised to be fair.  And I wasn't told that I would get to live on the mountain top - physically, spiritually, or emotionally.  BUT it's what I do in the valley - I think is a huge lesson.

So, I sing this song - if I am waiting - in the valley as of late.  You are more than welcome to join me - in the river.  For out of it flows life.....