12 June 2005

Testing Her Boundaries

As she explores her world, she also pushes her limits. The past few days have proved she is WAY smarter than we sometimes think. The blank stare when she's told to do something? The running after her new friends at church instead of coming when Mommy calls? The refusal to use manners and be polite?

Oh, the depths of the stubborn will. As she becomes more comfortable with us, she's pushing boundaries. It's especially hard on weekends when we're at church. She NEVER is inclined to come when we call her. Today she fussed and cried that she had to go home. She had at least three swats on the leg, and two time outs.

But all in all it was a great day! We had supper in our jammies and we smothered her with love and affection. She is blossoming is such am amazing way here. Her personality is coming alive. Her eyes sparkle, her voice is full of life. She's excited, protected, nurtured, and challenged. She's got all she needs.


"Never," and it's antithesis "always," are BIG words, and usually inapplicable to the human experience. Pretty much, only God is "never" and "always."
Take heart -- children usually push boundaries when they are secure enough within their bounds to want to know where and how firm the boundaries are. So, she's feeling pretty good about her new home and family, and she wants to know where and how far she can go and still feel secure.
And remember that one person's line in the sand is another person's range of motion. So, she is probably also testing her own perceptions of boundaries against yours (and you two have different perceptions, as well, by the way, in case you haven't noticed). She needs to know how firm any particular boundary really is (when am I going to get in trouble?), and whether that firmness differs between the two of you (Daddy doesn't care, but Mommie goes ballistic), whether it changes through time (they didn't like it yesterday; how about today?), and how general rather than specific it is (I wasn't allowed to run out in front of a car yesterday; I wonder if that means all cars or only yesterday's cars).
All this is normal, all this characterizes all our human relations, and, in fact, all this is how we relate to God, as well.
So, all this should cause you to examine your own perceptions of acceptable behaviors, so that you can learn who she is and who you are (individually and as a couple) and how those differences are going to translate into day-to-day and long-term family dynamics.
Love, Dad

here here!

hahaha, who is he? My dad? naw.... Give the kid plenty of candy, toys, and freetime, she'll grow up slow, hook up early, become artsy. Hey it worked for us! lol

Sounds like someone else we know....hmmm.....

hey!! dont talk about me like that!!! >=O

What, who, us? neeevvvveeerrr...hehe..